Better HIM then me/
Chainsaw massacre for Cash/
Amateur face lifts!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Voices Use words
The voices in her head were doing some spoken word.
All her personalities sitting around in the coffee shop of her mind, sipping away.
oohhing and aahhing to the frenzied tempo of the current poem slammer.
Slam after slam, line after line.
She freezes up, tense-she forgets who she is.
"A blue drizzle of hate rains down on the afterthought of love for my fellow human being-(dramatic pause) being alive is seeing "
She wonders why she just said that- she has never heard of a poetry slam, that’s o.k. though, poetry slams have never heard of her.
All her personalities sitting around in the coffee shop of her mind, sipping away.
oohhing and aahhing to the frenzied tempo of the current poem slammer.
Slam after slam, line after line.
She freezes up, tense-she forgets who she is.
"A blue drizzle of hate rains down on the afterthought of love for my fellow human being-(dramatic pause) being alive is seeing "
She wonders why she just said that- she has never heard of a poetry slam, that’s o.k. though, poetry slams have never heard of her.
A Letter on Behalf of all Chipmunks
I shouldn't even have to tell people this but here I am doing the world
YET ANOTHER FAVOR.
If your thinking about getting a parrot to do the job
THAT YOU KNOW DAMN WELL A CHIPMUNK IS MORE THEN CAPABLE OF DOING,
DON'T!
The number of parrots employed these days is astronomical.
The average chipmunk is not only jobless but homeless as well.
Just take a walk around your city or through the woods, then you tell me how many parrots you see flying around- homeless.
Try it. You will understand that the epidemic of homeless chipmunks has got to end.
Thank you.
YET ANOTHER FAVOR.
If your thinking about getting a parrot to do the job
THAT YOU KNOW DAMN WELL A CHIPMUNK IS MORE THEN CAPABLE OF DOING,
DON'T!
The number of parrots employed these days is astronomical.
The average chipmunk is not only jobless but homeless as well.
Just take a walk around your city or through the woods, then you tell me how many parrots you see flying around- homeless.
Try it. You will understand that the epidemic of homeless chipmunks has got to end.
Thank you.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Vacuums
Fanatical anti-abortion groups incendiary bombed their own compounds today as a statement of symbolic sacrifice for the unborn. Many believed their martyrdom would become the ultimate symbol of their beliefs.
The members of the groups specifically wanted to craft a most brilliant unsavory suicide. They wanted to out do the Budhist monk dropping the match on his gas filled ass..Vietnam was nothing compared to their passion.. Hence the Molotov/Napalm cocktails fashioned of basic ingredients from around the house, properly mixed for the 'napalm' effect.. Laundry detergent can clean in so many ways.
They set the cameras to roll - on every moment of their blistering skin melting, frying - lye in their eyes- burning through their brains, bones and marrow melting to a yogurt consistency only the snobbiest cannibal would find unappetizing....Footage of Olympic worthy bottle throwing, each member grinning, fiery, burning, laughing, melting martyrs.. bottles of gas and styrofoam, detergent, lit wicks --crafted from sick socks...
The footage got leaked... Investigators tried their hardest not to let it become public.. YouTube first played it, file sharing, everything..'played it'
Next day the TV news, Drudge report, vicious viral videos, everywhere...
People melting into oozing caricatures of abortion, in their case however, 50 years of bible-fucking too late..
That's what they wanted, after so many of them got thrown in jail for murdering the 'murderers': the doctors, the mothers...and occasionally the one night stand father that was honorable enough to show up- to say goodbye to his unknown 'child'.
That's what they wanted, a spectacle.
Shortly after all 200 group members melted away..
Nobody heard anything more about abortion clinic bombings..Pickets, harassment..nothing.
Nothing at all..the traffic on the streets slowing, disappearing..complete quiet citywide..from state to state..
A stillness unknown for a hundred years..The effect of these events spreading world wide..
Like a Pandemic of thought, a meme spreading out, everyone learned how to make these liberating cocktails..everyone.
The population dwindled, a winding down, no loud music, no irate customers, no overheard cell phone conversations..
Only the faint distant sound of the last people..a heavy duty,
medical grade vacuum...and laughter..grinning, melting laughter.
The members of the groups specifically wanted to craft a most brilliant unsavory suicide. They wanted to out do the Budhist monk dropping the match on his gas filled ass..Vietnam was nothing compared to their passion.. Hence the Molotov/Napalm cocktails fashioned of basic ingredients from around the house, properly mixed for the 'napalm' effect.. Laundry detergent can clean in so many ways.
They set the cameras to roll - on every moment of their blistering skin melting, frying - lye in their eyes- burning through their brains, bones and marrow melting to a yogurt consistency only the snobbiest cannibal would find unappetizing....Footage of Olympic worthy bottle throwing, each member grinning, fiery, burning, laughing, melting martyrs.. bottles of gas and styrofoam, detergent, lit wicks --crafted from sick socks...
The footage got leaked... Investigators tried their hardest not to let it become public.. YouTube first played it, file sharing, everything..'played it'
Next day the TV news, Drudge report, vicious viral videos, everywhere...
People melting into oozing caricatures of abortion, in their case however, 50 years of bible-fucking too late..
That's what they wanted, after so many of them got thrown in jail for murdering the 'murderers': the doctors, the mothers...and occasionally the one night stand father that was honorable enough to show up- to say goodbye to his unknown 'child'.
That's what they wanted, a spectacle.
Shortly after all 200 group members melted away..
Nobody heard anything more about abortion clinic bombings..Pickets, harassment..nothing.
Nothing at all..the traffic on the streets slowing, disappearing..complete quiet citywide..from state to state..
A stillness unknown for a hundred years..The effect of these events spreading world wide..
Like a Pandemic of thought, a meme spreading out, everyone learned how to make these liberating cocktails..everyone.
The population dwindled, a winding down, no loud music, no irate customers, no overheard cell phone conversations..
Only the faint distant sound of the last people..a heavy duty,
medical grade vacuum...and laughter..grinning, melting laughter.
A review of 'The Review Review'
I stumbled upon this site accidentally while looking up 'All Nude Review' sites..I was immediately offended by this abrasive intrusion on my daily constructive use of the internet. I browsed the site under the impression that I may still find what I was searching for..I was disappointed even more so.
My main points of contention are: 1.No porn. 2.No cool links to YouTube videos of people doing stupid things. 3.Can't play Mafiawars or Farmville on it. 4.No reviews of awesome video games. 5.No free MP3s
6.Never once mentions how cool Satan is!
I researched the sites founder a one 'Becky Tuch', I immediately formulated some theories on this 'person'..
My first thought was that 'she' is actually a computer program designed to put random words in an order which creates the illusion of essays/ reviews..get this- an anagram of Becky Tuch is 'Chuck Byte'..follow?
At times this program glitches and puts together nonsensical sentences such as "Check them out as them out as the seasons change." Does not compute!!
However, I must acquiesce to what seems to be the more valid theory my research has uncovered...
Ms. Tuch is a real woman who assumes male pen names in order to pad out the list of contributors/editors.
I think this is smart of her, as most people prefer the opinions of men! I began reading some of the female contributors articles (again, all of which are very likely Ms.Tuch) and found myself reading the subtext of "I'm a girl- I have opinions!".
I literally had to down Ritalin and drink 3 cups of coffee just to not fall asleep after the first 3 words.
Ms.Tuch claims having received awards and recognition from "Briar Cliff Review", "Byline" and the "Tennessee Writers Alliance"...I was appalled to find - NONE of these entities exist!
Ms.Tuch also claims in an interview that she enjoys activities outside of writing- my research indicates she
does NOT. One of these 'activities' is "talking to her parents on the phone"..Another obvious lie, as it is common knowledge that she does not have parents, having been birthed in an experimental cloning lab!
All of this aside , I did not appreciate the sites ulterior motive of wanting people to 'think' about things- if I wanted to do that, I would watch Seinfeld reruns or go to a Sox game!! Also there is lots of ' boo-hooing' on the difficulties of being a writer and getting published..I disagree. I'm finding no problem writing these words or getting them published. I simply write, then all I have to do is click a button..
BOOM- published- done and done, EASY!!
My final complaint is there was not one reference to the TRUE writers lifestyle. Which we all know to be that of doing drugs and drinking to excess!
As illustrated by successful writers such as W.Burroughs, C.Bukowski, Hunter S. Thompson and myself.
Now having wasted valuable World of Warcraft playing time, I will end this review of 'The Review Review' with the immortal words of William Blake:
"Art can never exist without naked beauty displayed".
Ms. Tuch and the alleged people of The Review Review..you need some naked pictures on your site!
You're welcome.
My main points of contention are: 1.No porn. 2.No cool links to YouTube videos of people doing stupid things. 3.Can't play Mafiawars or Farmville on it. 4.No reviews of awesome video games. 5.No free MP3s
6.Never once mentions how cool Satan is!
I researched the sites founder a one 'Becky Tuch', I immediately formulated some theories on this 'person'..
My first thought was that 'she' is actually a computer program designed to put random words in an order which creates the illusion of essays/ reviews..get this- an anagram of Becky Tuch is 'Chuck Byte'..follow?
At times this program glitches and puts together nonsensical sentences such as "Check them out as them out as the seasons change." Does not compute!!
However, I must acquiesce to what seems to be the more valid theory my research has uncovered...
Ms. Tuch is a real woman who assumes male pen names in order to pad out the list of contributors/editors.
I think this is smart of her, as most people prefer the opinions of men! I began reading some of the female contributors articles (again, all of which are very likely Ms.Tuch) and found myself reading the subtext of "I'm a girl- I have opinions!".
I literally had to down Ritalin and drink 3 cups of coffee just to not fall asleep after the first 3 words.
Ms.Tuch claims having received awards and recognition from "Briar Cliff Review", "Byline" and the "Tennessee Writers Alliance"...I was appalled to find - NONE of these entities exist!
Ms.Tuch also claims in an interview that she enjoys activities outside of writing- my research indicates she
does NOT. One of these 'activities' is "talking to her parents on the phone"..Another obvious lie, as it is common knowledge that she does not have parents, having been birthed in an experimental cloning lab!
All of this aside , I did not appreciate the sites ulterior motive of wanting people to 'think' about things- if I wanted to do that, I would watch Seinfeld reruns or go to a Sox game!! Also there is lots of ' boo-hooing' on the difficulties of being a writer and getting published..I disagree. I'm finding no problem writing these words or getting them published. I simply write, then all I have to do is click a button..
BOOM- published- done and done, EASY!!
My final complaint is there was not one reference to the TRUE writers lifestyle. Which we all know to be that of doing drugs and drinking to excess!
As illustrated by successful writers such as W.Burroughs, C.Bukowski, Hunter S. Thompson and myself.
Now having wasted valuable World of Warcraft playing time, I will end this review of 'The Review Review' with the immortal words of William Blake:
"Art can never exist without naked beauty displayed".
Ms. Tuch and the alleged people of The Review Review..you need some naked pictures on your site!
You're welcome.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Indeed
I envied a rare gem
while resorting to
regal tactics,
all to attract it..
Resurrected an old passion
fashioning beauty
crafted with laughing.
Invisible insights
recited by backward masking tape
holding down the will to fight
fuck
flee
the whole world will bleed.
Indeed.
while resorting to
regal tactics,
all to attract it..
Resurrected an old passion
fashioning beauty
crafted with laughing.
Invisible insights
recited by backward masking tape
holding down the will to fight
fuck
flee
the whole world will bleed.
Indeed.
Thoughts on Isolation
Finding oneself
sitting alone
with tools of ones craft
surrounded by the wastes and excesses
successes of the past.
Sitting, whistling a silent tune
thoughts rest in fortitude.
sitting alone
with tools of ones craft
surrounded by the wastes and excesses
successes of the past.
Sitting, whistling a silent tune
thoughts rest in fortitude.
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