A review of 'The Review Review'

I stumbled upon this site accidentally while looking up 'All Nude Review' sites..I was immediately offended by this abrasive intrusion on my daily constructive use of the internet. I browsed the site under the impression that I may still find what I was searching for..I was disappointed even more so.
My main points of contention are: 1.No porn. 2.No cool links to YouTube videos of people doing stupid things. 3.Can't play Mafiawars or Farmville on it. 4.No reviews of awesome video games. 5.No free MP3s
6.Never once mentions how cool Satan is!
I researched the sites founder a one 'Becky Tuch', I immediately formulated some theories on this 'person'..
My first thought was that 'she' is actually a computer program designed to put random words in an order which creates the illusion of essays/ reviews..get this- an anagram of Becky Tuch is 'Chuck Byte'..follow?
At times this program glitches and puts together nonsensical sentences such as "Check them out as them out as the seasons change." Does not compute!!
However, I must acquiesce to what seems to be the more valid theory my research has uncovered...
Ms. Tuch is a real woman who assumes male pen names in order to pad out the list of contributors/editors.
I think this is smart of her, as most people prefer the opinions of men! I began reading some of the female contributors articles (again, all of which are very likely Ms.Tuch) and found myself reading the subtext of "I'm a girl- I have opinions!".
I literally had to down Ritalin and drink 3 cups of coffee just to not fall asleep after the first 3 words.
Ms.Tuch claims having received awards and recognition from "Briar Cliff Review", "Byline" and the "Tennessee Writers Alliance"...I was appalled to find - NONE of these entities exist!
Ms.Tuch also claims in an interview that she enjoys activities outside of writing- my research indicates she
does NOT. One of these 'activities' is "talking to her parents on the phone"..Another obvious lie, as it is common knowledge that she does not have parents, having been birthed in an experimental cloning lab!

All of this aside , I did not appreciate the sites ulterior motive of wanting people to 'think' about things- if I wanted to do that, I would watch Seinfeld reruns or go to a Sox game!! Also there is lots of ' boo-hooing' on the difficulties of being a writer and getting published..I disagree. I'm finding no problem writing these words or getting them published. I simply write, then all I have to do is click a button..
BOOM- published- done and done, EASY!!
My final complaint is there was not one reference to the TRUE writers lifestyle. Which we all know to be that of doing drugs and drinking to excess!
As illustrated by successful writers such as W.Burroughs, C.Bukowski, Hunter S. Thompson and myself.

Now having wasted valuable World of Warcraft playing time, I will end this review of 'The Review Review' with the immortal words of William Blake:
"Art can never exist without naked beauty displayed".
Ms. Tuch and the alleged people of The Review Review..you need some naked pictures on your site!

You're welcome.